‘Can breathe again’ gasped Fr. Cotta’s latest blog. ‘For the first time since Bishop Burnham welcomed the Holy Father’s brilliant ploy of sending a galleon to rescue us, as his pious predecessor did in 1588, I was thinking that Benedict had missed a trick.

After last year’s beatification of JHN, why no 2011 papal visit (Easy Jet have slashed business class fares) to beatify Guy Fawkes?

Why bother? Simple – 2011, 400th anniversary of the Protty AV. Beatifying Fawkes would deflect attention and remind good Catholics (like I’ll be shortly) that the AV was launched by King James who was so unkind to Guy when all he was doing was anticipating the destruction of Parliament by the EU. Treaty of Rome – gotta be good, not as if it was Treaty of Canterbury.

‘ND’ occasionally gets letters from backwoodsmen who, when not backing the BNP, are using the BCP. Such Prots could demand that ‘ND’ celebrates the AV. How un-Catholic!

Problem solved – two ways. Firstly, Royal Mail is issuing AV anniversary stamps. Tony must have tipped off the Holy Father about this when enquiring about adding Castel Gandolfo to his property portfolio.

Royal Mail sponsoring AV. How Erastian! Unlike Rome, the CofE always plays politics. However, (chuckle, chuckle) when stamp prices rise, the unpopularity of that will transfer to the AV. .

Secondly, Lambeth’s organised a Royal wedding to overshadow the Ordinariate exodus. Wondered who Mandelson works for now. Luckily this will also completely eclipse AV hoorays, though Rowan probably prefers Y Beibl Cymraeg, anyway.

Wise of Benedict, therefore, not to have booked another visit. He must have guessed that the commemoration of the AV would sink without trace (Oops, that was the Armada). Still, a close run thing. Gosh, Google’s now told me it was that Irish ‘Prod’ Wellington who said that.

Another buckled shoe in mouth.’