West Midlands Vicarage has been the first to be rendered eco -friendly as the CofE attempts to become more environmentally aware (news item).

We’re Anglican environmentalists,
Dim bulbs in every socket.
Saving the planet is our wish,
It also saves our pocket.

A wind turbine upon our roof,
Solar panels cook our dinner.
If green-ness needs a further proof,
Nettle communion wine’s a winner.

We never shop at supermarts,
We grow organic veg,
Keep chickens in our large backyard.
Wild brambles form our hedge.

Rhian, my wife, makes all our clothes,
The wool’s from our own sheep.
Wholemeal, of course, the communion loaves;
From corn our children reap.

We travel everywhere by bike.
Gas guzzlers make us miffed.
And if it’s warm we always hike,
If wet, we hitch a lift.

We always thumb a 4×4.
To get to ‘Messy Church’.
With all our bags of plasticine
We can’t be in the lurch.

Our AGA’s fuelled by chicken sh-t,
Wrapped in pages from the Guardian.
And now I come to think of it,
We’ve an Elsan in the garden.

Upon the veg our poo we throw
A custom that is green.
No chemicals for us, you know,
Though neighbours make a scene.

We dine outside most of the time
But particularly at night,
Because low energy bulbs, we find,
Give such an awful light.

Alan Edwards