If you wanted proof that FiF is at the margin of marginalized UK Christianity, look at the ‘phone hacking’ saga. ND must be the only tabloid with no former editor or journalist arrested for hacking. The Met must think we couldn’t text let alone hack. Think of the ‘double bubble’ they’d have earned by travelling to Yorks to nick Nick. Not a chance to pass up on now Teresa’s kitten-heeling cops’ cash.

The hacking saga began with revelations about the phone hacking activities of NOTW’s Glenn ‘Trigger’ Mulcaire. He was also a footballer, scoring the first ever goal for reborn AFC Wimbledon – the footballing wing of FiF. I wear my FiF badge with my AFCW scarf, bawling ‘Yellow and Blue, Ooh, Ooh’ as raucously as any Celtic fan sings ‘God Bless Our Pope’.

Given the possible lead to ‘Trigger’, I would have thought that PC 49 would have lifted me higher than Elijah when I venture to St Michael’s Harbledown or St Gabriel, Rough Common. So far less police presence than at a riot. Obviously the Met don’t reckon us.

However, let’s face it. If we decided to join our fellow red-tops and ‘phone tap’, what would we learn? No need to hack to learn the views of ‘liberals’ like ‘Gaffer’ Fraser (now c/o ‘Grauniad’ leader column). There’s as much chance of escaping their opinions as of going a day without Meryl Streep featuring on ‘The Torygraph’ front page now that she’s replaced Liz Hurley as that paper’s ‘squeeze’.

Also fair play to the Watch lasses. They reveal as much as any Page 3 girl by not hiding that they want us to clear off when they clean up.

So no need to hack – but think what we miss. No publicity from our editors appearing at the Leveson Inquiry. No slot on Today. But getting in a word against John Humphrys? Having experienced some bishops browbeating diocesan synods to vote the right way on ‘the legislation – we could have hacked Humphrys to pieces.

Alan Edwards