1012. Olympics Year. How many golds for Team GB? Safe bet that Team GB has far less chance of topping the table than Team Gras has of gaining ‘purples’ from Synod for their ladies in waiting.

Despite the hopes of some orthodox optimists, it looks certain that the ladies’ next wait will be for Wippell catalogues (2014 edition?) advertising mitres. The best that the ‘trad lads’ can hope for is a Following Motion, the Synod’s equivalent of (Welsh readers close your eyes) 3rd Place Play-Off in the Rugby World Cup.

If Teams FiF and Reform are in the cold, don’t despair. Think of how concerned people are about those other frozen folk – the polar bears. Like orthodox Anglicans, an endangered species.

You can bet that many a Gras girl wanting us out in the ecclesiastical cold is a warm-hearted supporter of the WWF and its concern for endangered species. Hearts that warm to the fast disappearing orangutan are bound to feel the same about a Con Evan, and want to protect them as well. Also, is a Catholic any less cute than a koala?

So traditionalists, if you don’t see Following Motions following, stop conflicting and start looking cuddlesome. Then you’ll find Synod delighted to set up reserves for yet another endangered species.

Many UK Nature Reserves have more endangered species than those who live in the wild. Bet most diocesans, including the new ladies, would find facing a FiF reserve less dangerous than being asked to accompany Rowan on another trip to Zimbabwe.

What about the odd outburst from Fr X, ‘red in tooth and claw’, matching his cassock piping? But conservationists say it’s the nature of wild animals to be wild at times. Why should Catholics always be tamer than tigers, or Evangelicals than elephants?

Alan Edwards