Thurifer

 

My March Diary comments on the Today programme and its presenters elicited a memory from a reader. John Timpson was a ‘loyal, efficient’ churchwarden in the parish of Wellingham, with ‘a great sense of fun… He used to write in the summer-house at the bottom of his garden while Pat, (his wife, Chairman of the local branch of the Women’s Institute) who was an ex ward-sister and quite fierce, repelled would-be disturbers of his peace’. When there was financial jiggery-pokery in another parish in the area by a Treasurer not long released from gaol, it was John Timpson who gave him the soubriquet ‘safe-cracker Sid’. Thanks to Mavis Jacobs.

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The death of Phil Bennett brought back memories of the greatest of Welsh Rugby Union teams. What glory there was in those years. To see them at the Arms Park was a highlight of boyhood. I was not there to see the greatest try when the Barbarians played the All Blacks on 27 January 1973 but I did see it live on BBC. It was begun by Phil Bennett, gathering the ball in his own 25-yard line, side-stepping two, three, four times before passing to John Dawes, from him to others to the half-way line when the ball went to Gareth Edwards who scored. Something of that cavalier, Corinthian spirit went out of the game when it turned professional and my interest waned.

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Before the pandemic disappears and becomes a mere blur, this blissful memory sums up the fatuity of the times amidst the tragedy. The then hapless Minister of State for Care at the Department of Health and Social Care, speaking about the ‘roll-out’ (ugh) of the booster vaccinations explained that the intention was ‘to operationalise’ the plan. Did she not know that the plan should have been ‘implementalised’? That baleful locution seemed to sum up the bureaucratic mind and attitude better than the thousands of words expended over the two years. Will we ever recover?

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Few maxims are infallible but one that rarely fails is that ‘All political lives, unless they are cut off in midstream at a happy juncture, end in failure, because that is the nature of politics and of human affairs’ (Enoch Powell). The defenestration of Boris Johnson followed a familiar trajectory. A series of errors and personal failings resulted in a vote of no confidence by Conservative MPs which he won but unconvincingly. It was followed by a crass, ineffective attempt to defend an erring MP. A rivulet of resignations from ministers turned into a tidal wave. He sank. 

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It is not unusual for a PM who has announced an intention to resign to remain in post until a successor has been appointed. David Cameron, Theresa May both did so. But Boris Johnson, so often criticised for flouting, ignoring conventions, was castigated for following one. 

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The Conservative Party is ruthless with leaders. Since Mrs Thatcher’s 15 years, only one successor hit double figures, David Cameron, 11 years. Less fortunate: John Major (7), William Hague (4), Ian Duncan Smith (2), Michael Howard (2), Theresa May (3), Boris Johnson (3).

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Once the hustings were down to the last two, Rushi Sunak barracked and interrupted and Liz Truss was so wedded to mantra that it became clear there were no new ideas. Some concluded that Johnson, with all his faults and clear reluctance to leave office, might still be the better bet. How many voters (about 170,000 of them) will write his name on the ballot papers?  He declined to endorse any of the candidates, not wishing ‘to damage anybody’s chances by offering my support’.

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A moment to Treasury (geddit?) when Simon Clarke, Chief Secretary to the Treasury, defended himself on Today when a surprisingly un-hectoring Nick Robinson asked why he was a minister who imposed tax increases under Rishi Sunak a few days earlier but now supported and agreed with Liz Truss who dissented from them in Cabinet and would reverse them. It was a magnificent feat of verbal legerdemain but the kind that sends a chill down the spine. A whiff of intellectual and moral decay filled the airwaves.

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The Prime Minister left his last PMQs much as always: discursive rhetorical flourishes, combative, witty, but with joie de vivre – we may not have seen the last of him. The Opposition Leader is the puritan to the PM’s cavalier. The orotund fulminations of the SNP leader a constant source of wonder; the perfect case for the Union. The Liberal Democrat Leader (how many non-sequiturs are there in those three words?) laboriously quoted the Bard of Avon in his scripted contribution as the PM would no longer strut and fret his hour on the stage (the Scottish play is always dangerous ground) but met his match when the PM, spontaneous and unscripted, quoted Polonius to the effect that Sir Ed should essay ‘more matter with less art’. But quips were too late to save him and insufficient to outweigh the faults. His final flourish was ‘Hasta la vista, baby’ (channeling his inner Arnold Schwarzenegger as from Terminator 2); a degree of iconoclasm that was as unexpected as it was vulgar. 

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The final verdict comes after ND goes to press. The political runes have said Liz Truss will win. My original tip was Rishi Sunak. At least I will have been consistently wrong.